i hurt.. all over again.. and it's becoming irrepressible.. now i am confused. as in seriously confused.. i dunno why.. i dunno what. i am confused with love. or the notion of it. and yet.,. i let it go on for so long.. cos i noe i still love him... but ..
why?? i noe it's gettin harder. i dunno how on i can last. i dno how long more i can hold on. it hurts.. and now.. i have a secret that i have shut up for long enough.. and you noe how good i am at keeping secrets!!
but still it's getting stronger.. and i am missing him all over again.. i dun understand. i cried last nite.. and i dunno why. i think i feel so choked up. and yet i dunno what to do.. i wanna tell him.. but i am afraid to disturb him?? i guess its like he seems happy.. and i dun wanna disrupt him.. and i fear that if i do say anything, the awkwardness will become worse.. but if i dun...its eating me up inside.. and it hurts.. all over again. like when we first broke up./. what am i to do? i relle am lost... then again.. what do i have to lose? if i do speak.. i am trying to way.. but i dunno if i should? i am too blur rite now.. too involved in the whole thing.. too boiled down by this whole thing... and i dunno what to do....
i wanna republish this poem:
-whispers-
tell me softly,
tenderly embrace me,
i remember,
i wish i had not,
did not give up,
or did I?
Was that love?
or not?
i did not hold
on to you,
i let you go
let you fly
i think
it was right.
And yet somehow,
why does something so right,
feel so wrong?
i have moved on,
have i not?
but why then do i not forget,
and desire sometimes
to hold you?
is this human?
or the nature?
they flow on
Is this why?
i cannot seem,
to move on,
because,
i still love you
belle scribbled at
9:00 PM
